in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
