just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
