are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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