Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
