Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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