my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
