Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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