he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
