mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
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My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
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He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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