I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
