I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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