The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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