Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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