Texts From Last Night

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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.

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  (251): Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance (303): It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime. http://tfl.nu/1z36
  Replies (16) Good night (2504) Bad night (827)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.

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  (617): Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant. http://tfl.nu/y6pb
  Replies (30) Good night (4315) Bad night (1469)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"

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  (905): I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by" http://tfl.nu/6dm5
  Replies (12) Good night (1162) Bad night (2570)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.

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  (330): Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car. http://tfl.nu/8rap
  Replies (6) Good night (2696) Bad night (915)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona

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  (503): still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona http://tfl.nu/3dwf
  Replies (8) Good night (1295) Bad night (2885)
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  (714): View more from California

  I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.

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  (714): I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through. http://tfl.nu/cb3b
  Replies (3) Good night (1150) Bad night (2513)
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  (332): View more from

  Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her

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  (332): Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her http://tfl.nu/zh80
  Replies (3) Good night (1856) Bad night (624)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito

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  (702): I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito http://tfl.nu/vmgk
  Replies (4) Good night (1848) Bad night (649)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.

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  (204): I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk. http://tfl.nu/i2hd
  Replies (1) Good night (1156) Bad night (615)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant

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  (914): Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant http://tfl.nu/t0nu
  Replies (1) Good night (1233) Bad night (488)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party

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  (732): Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party http://tfl.nu/r6wq
  Replies (0) Good night (779) Bad night (399)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?

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  (775): Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck? http://tfl.nu/o867
  Replies (6) Good night (580) Bad night (300)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...

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  (617): I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night... http://tfl.nu/7bup
  Replies (9) Good night (630) Bad night (1309)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA

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  (563): It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA http://tfl.nu/yp2m
  Replies (6) Good night (338) Bad night (641)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B

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  (913): Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B http://tfl.nu/a09x
  Replies (3) Good night (632) Bad night (303)

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