I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.