i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?