how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.