what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
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I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
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I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing