Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We should go out drinking together soon

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm still not going to have sex with you

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  (248): We should go out drinking together soon (734): I'm still not going to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/vh87
  Replies (22) Good night (568) Bad night (1339)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.

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  (210): I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day. http://tfl.nu/nvhr
  Replies (53) Good night (3509) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying

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  (814): He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying http://tfl.nu/diyu
  Replies (28) Good night (11926) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Say it nicely.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?

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  (303): Say it nicely. (1-303): Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy? http://tfl.nu/5ned
  Replies (51) Good night (16201) Bad night (1166) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."

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  (512): You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you." http://tfl.nu/7ipp
  Replies (9) Good night (4124) Bad night (1604) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.

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  (484): The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit. http://tfl.nu/31my
  Replies (18) Good night (667) Bad night (3817) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.

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  (281): thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone. http://tfl.nu/c518
  Replies (7) Good night (3231) Bad night (734) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.

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  (256): I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far. http://tfl.nu/ba65
  Replies (6) Good night (3679) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...

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  (617): And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not... http://tfl.nu/7o3n
  Replies (13) Good night (913) Bad night (3481) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.

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  (210): I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer. http://tfl.nu/a3pu
  Replies (8) Good night (3091) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.

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  (306): We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis. http://tfl.nu/9mdd
  Replies (5) Good night (1913) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.

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  (413): Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night. http://tfl.nu/jhax
  Replies (4) Good night (645) Bad night (1528)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.

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  (316): Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say. http://tfl.nu/5ny3
  Replies (10) Good night (757) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"

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  (607): The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??" http://tfl.nu/clw8
  Replies (4) Good night (1244) Bad night (213) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.

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  (317): You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves. http://tfl.nu/nrql
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (165) Order T-Shirt

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