I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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