I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.