is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza