My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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