you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Holy shit dude........stairs
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