mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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