Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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