I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
