Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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