Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Please, let me fuck your mom
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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