i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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