I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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