Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
