It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
