My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
