Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
