Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
