i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
