Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
