just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize