STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
