So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
