Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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