All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
