Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
