I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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