Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My pussy is not your playground.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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