is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
