oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
