Everything about him screamed your future.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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