we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
