She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
