i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
