Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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