Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
