Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
