u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
