At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
