My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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