I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
