i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just puked most of my soul out..
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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