her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize