I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize