Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
