textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
