All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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