better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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