just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
