U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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