if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
