I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
