Having a random hookup so left but love u
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
zippers are such a cool invention
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize