win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
