There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
