If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
