walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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