It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
