Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
